Sometimes We All Must Bleed
by LittleMermaid1990
Summary: Zoom has taken Caitlin, leaving Barry with an ultimatum. The remaining members of Team Flash come up with a dangerous plan to defeat Zoom, while Caitlin finds an unlikely ally. Hidden feelings are explored, secrets come to the surface and in the end a choice has to be made.
**Author's Note: Longest One Shot I ever wrote. Hooray! This is inspired by some upcoming episode photos, rumors and speculations, some actual comic book stuff and all with a Snowbarry twist obviously.**

 **It is darker than my usual stuff, so I'm a bit nervous. I hope some of the characters don't seem OOC, I tried to really pin down the situation and emotional fallout.**

 **Also, if some of the science tuff doesn't add up I'm sorry, I really don't speak science. At all.**

 **English is not my first language, so sorry if I butcher it or anything.**

 **If you're interested, I listened to two songs basically on repeat to get into the mood, one was 'Dear Agony' by Breaking Benjamin and the other 'A World Alone' by Alex Band (mostly for the Snowbarry feels). The title is taking from another song, though really only the title. The lyrics don't match at all.**

 **Anyways, enough talk. If you actually read this through, thank you. Reviews would be nice :)**

 **Disclaimer: Nope. I got nothing.**

* * *

 _ **Sometimes We All Must Bleed**_

It had been 56 hours, 14 minutes and 17 seconds since Zoom took her. He looked up at the ticking clock in the lab. 56 hours, 15 minutes and 5 seconds. He listened to the ticking. _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._ He never even noticed the clock was there before. It was funny to him how some things exist in the human subconsciousness and only came to the light of day when the circumstances called for them. Like now.

His eyes were clouded by dark circles. He didn't sleep, he barely ate. He didn't cry once or let himself grasp the emotional exhaustion of the situation. The only thing he could do was working. He owed her that much.

In his head he played about a hundred different scenarios through. His mind was constantly racing, but even in the best cases they all ended up dead, only that Zoom killed them quickly and without any pain.

They should have seen it coming really and he cursed himself for making the same stupid mistakes over and over again. No matter with what plan they came up before, Zoom was always ten steps ahead or improvised so quickly that the outcome was the same. He toyed with them. It didn't matter how fast he got, Zoom always managed to come out on top.

" _You might be faster, but you are nothing like me."_

He still heard his enemy's booming voice inside of his mind. The face of a man, but the voice of a demon. _A demon._ He was no man.

Barry put yet another book aside. Yet another failed attempt to come up with a plan that wouldn't end up in everyone he loved and cared about bleeding on the floor.

 _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

In an ironic twist of fate time was now running against him and he hated it. Hated how helpless he felt. How s _low._

He grabbed a staple of papers. Calculations and diagrams and everything that should have calmed him down. He was scientist, some of this should help him find a solution. Yeah, the scientist. The man however, not the hero, just the man laughed bitterly. He couldn't stand looking at his own reflection right now, because the face in the mirror was telling him what he should have known all along: You can't win.

They were all so focused on Zoom, so focused on Barry's speed and that Zoom would naturally just come after him, that they, that _he_ literally forgot that the blue demon always had an ace up his sleeve.

So when he took her, all they could do was watch when he dragged her through the portal, giving them an ultimatum. Six days. They would meet again, Barry, Wells and Zoom and Barry would hand himself and his speed over. His life for hers. It was easy like that.

Cisco called it the 'standard villain procedure', but Harrison spoke aloud what they all were thinking, _they should have known._

It wasn't the first time Zoom took someone else to get what he wanted, they just never expected him to pull the same move twice. What a mistake that turned out to be.

He took Jesse to force Harry to work for him. She was his world and he obeyed. Now he took Barry's world away, forcing him to make a decision.

He thought his heart skipped a beat for a second. He always believed in logic and science, but he also knew he was someone driven by his emotions. He usually wore his heart on his sleeve and yet he had managed to be utterly unaware for the longest time about his heart's true desire. Somewhere between Zoom grabbing her and him failing to get her back he had an epiphany of grandeur. And as always Zoom knew before him. How, he couldn't even imagine.

The first, almost logical assumption was that Zoom took her of all people because he had some sick, twisted obsession with her, after all he had the chance to take Iris or Joe, _Barry's family,_ but he didn't. While the others were still speculating he came to terms with fate just being a major bitch, cruel beyond words and that his own underlying feelings caused her abduction. Losing her would drive him over the edge of sanity and so far Zoom's plan worked abso-fuckin'-lutely.

A hand appeared on his shoulders. A firm grasp. "You need to stop." Harry's voice was unusually soft. Barry hated it. He didn't need empathy now, he needed the emotionally detached Doctor Wells that would do anything to get the job done.

"Barry, you need to rest." It was _Barry_ now, not _Allen_ because the situation was far too delicate, far too gravely.

He shrugged his shoulder away, not turning around to face the other man. "I can't. I won't." His own voice shocked him. He didn't sound like himself at all, but like a mere echo of the man that he once was.

He felt broken inside. The moment she disappeared his world shattered. He knew she was still alive yes, but he didn't even want to imagine what Zoom could do to her. Needing her as leverage didn't mean to keep her healthy.

"You are not helping yourself _or Caitlin_ if you collapse of exhaustion."

His hand twitched. He said _her name._ Finally ready to turn around Barry could see in Harrison's face how bad he actually looked.

"You look like shit." There was the Harry he knew and loved.

"You don't look much better."

The last couple of days at been hard for them all. He never noticed how lost they truly were when she wasn't around to keep them together. But they had to figure this one out for her. Not only to save her life, but because she deserved it. She always saved them, gave them hope and never complained. Now it was time to pay her back.

"I just…" Barry's mouth was dry. When was the last time he had something to drink? He didn't remember.

He leaned against his desk. "I have no problem giving my life for hers." He confessed. "I'm fine with losing my speed, dying even if it means she will be safe." How easy these words left his mouth, it made him realize how true that was. He would die a thousand cruel deaths if she would live. She lost so much already, she deserved to find happiness. And even if she lost him, he was sure she would heal eventually. She was the strongest person he ever met and if he never got the chance to tell her that, he at least could make sure she would survive to discover it herself.

Harry said nothing. He was silent, taking Barry's words in.

"But if I let him kill me, he will be unstoppable." His hands started to shake. "He will kill her and you guys anyway." And that was the bitter truth he couldn't avoid. As terrifying and ruthless as Eobard Thawne might have been, he at least had some sense of honor. His own moral codex one might say. A fucked up and bent codex, but existing nonetheless. Zoom was downright a sociopath. A known murderer even before he got his powers and even worse afterwards. While Thawne was obsessed with beating the Flash and always after his own selfish needs, Zoom enjoyed the hunt, the kill. He had no rules, no restrain. He wouldn't care if they did everything he wanted, he would still kill them one by one and Barry wasn't going to let that happen.

Harry opened his mouth. Barry wondered if he wanted to argue with him that there even was a possibility of him sacrificing his own life, but Cisco's voice over the speakers interrupted their conversation before it even really started.

" _Guys you need to come up here. I found something."_

* * *

Caitlin refused to be scared of him. Jay or Hunter or whatever he called himself didn't deserve her fear, he didn't deserve anything from her and she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of even the smallest reaction when he pulled her roughly out of her prison cell to relocate her. She clenched her teeth, hiding the pain his monstrous claw-like fingers were causing her. She would endure the pain, the scratches and bruises with dignity.

She figured he didn't want her locked up with the mysterious Man in the Iron Mask anymore. They started to communicate and no matter how much Zoom threatened her, she wasn't going to stop. Zoom needed her alive to blackmail Barry and the least she could do was using that to her advantage. For some reason she was pretty sure Iron Mask wasn't in any immediate danger either and she felt so close to figuring out his secret when Zoom grabbed her yet again.

"If you won't stop, I'll make you stop." He hissed into her ear when he brought her to a different lair and yet another prison.

She said nothing, but his face so close to hers disgusted her.

"Silent treatment?" He sneered, sounding almost amused. "As you wish." He opened a glass door and pushed her inside. "As soon as Barry Allen gives me what I want, you can be silent forever." In a blaze of blue lightning he was gone.

Caitlin almost hyperventilated. She sat down on the floor and pulled her knees close to her chest. She needed to calm down. She hummed the melody of _Summer Nights,_ a ritual she developed over the last couple of days to keep her own mind in check. Closing her eyes, hearing his soft voice singing for her gave her a feel of home, of safety.

She didn't want to imagine of what he was going through right now. What they all were going through. She hated to be in this position. She was a scientist and not a damsel in distress.

She slowly opened her eyes. First step, checking your surroundings.

The new lair was lighter than the first one but even colder. It didn't look as much like a cave, but more like a garage or factory hall.

She stood up, touching the glass wall in front of her. Same material as the last one, escape impossible. She sighed. There had to be a way. Even someone like Zoom must have had sloppy moments. She just needed one tiny mistake on his part to escape.

"This is pointless." A cold voice suddenly said.

Caitlin turned around. She didn't notice anyone else in the cell before.

"Guess you're _their_ Caitlin."

Caitlin gasped. Cold eyes, white hair, yet her own voice and face. "You are Killer Frost."

The other woman managed a little smirk. "You don't say."

Caitlin stared at her doppelganger. She heard from Barry and Cisco how unreal it felt, meeting a different version of yourself, but this was far more terrifying and yet utterly interesting than she ever imagined.

The woman looked exactly like her and yet nothing at all. She noticed bruises on her arms, cuts on her bare shoulders and her face, a bursted lip and her hand was pressed against her rips, blood dripping on the floor beside her.

"You are hurt."

"Just because he keeps me alive doesn't mean he won't have his fun." She said bitterly.

Caitlin slowly moved closer. She got down on her knees in front of the other Caitlin and softly touched her arm. It didn't feel like human skin, but more like touching an ice sculpture.

Killer Frost stiffened under her touch.

"Can I see?" She was a doctor after all and even with limitations she would try her best to help her doppelganger get through this. It was how she worked. See someone in pain and treat him the best possible way, no matter your personal feelings.

Killer Frost hesitated before slowly moving her hand away from the open wound. She winced in pain.

"That looks bad." Caitlin examined the wound as good as possible in the dim light. She wished she had some equipment on her, but for now she needed to improvise. She pulled her shirt over her head, revealing a tight white tank top. She shivered in the cold. "Let me see…" she said more to herself than to her companion. She ripped the shirt apart with all the strength she got and tried to bind the wound up. "If you can produce some of your ice I can clean your cuts."

Killer Frost said nothing but obeyed. She was puzzled how much kindness this Caitlin showed her. They never met before and were caught in an impossible situation, yet she just sat there and helped her. Was she once like this Caitlin? She didn't remember.

"He keeps me alive so I have to live with all…these _feelings._ " Killer Frost explained without being asked to. "That's what he does. He finds your weakness and uses it against you. Living with this pain is worse than death."

"I'm sorry." Caitlin said "About your Ronnie." She searched the other woman's eyes. Villain or not there was a certain kind of understanding and she knew they both felt the same way.

"I'm sorry about yours too."

Caitlin offered her a small smile before cleaning the wound over her left eye.

* * *

"I went through Caitlin's papers and I found something very interesting." Cisco sounded almost like his usual, bouncy self. _Almost._ Barry could see the pain behind his eyes, hear the deep sorrow in his voice. His best friend was taken and there was nothing he could have done to stop it.

"She worked on something before we confronted Zoom." His voice was shaking even saying his name out loud. "Here's everything we have on Velocity 9, Zoom's data, Barry's data and even Trajectory's. A whole lot of equations and formulas. Some notes. Guys, I'm a genius engineer, but help me out here."

"Let me see." Harry took the papers from Cisco and held them so Barry could read a long. After a while he put the papers down. He shook his head, took his glasses off, only to put them right back on. "Snow is a genius." He muttered.

Barry went with his hand through his hair. That was an understatement. Caitlin was even helping them now, without being there.

"Guys, explanation please."

Harrison unfolded the papers again and spread them over the nearest table. "To make this as easy as possible, Snow was working on the possibility of overdosing Zoom."

"Say what?"

"Well see –" Barry pointed at Caitlin's notes, "She basically thought that if we inject Zoom with enough V9 he would go too fast and eventually dissolve like Eliza did."

"And that could work?" Cisco asked baffled. It sounded too easy. There had to be a catch. Good ideas always came with a catch.

"Well –" Harry started.

"And there is the catch." Cisco mumbled to himself.

"The problem is that according to her data, Zoom might be dying of V9, but that is a slow process because of his damaged cells. Meaning if we inject him now, it probably won't do any damage or even work on him anymore. He has developed something I would call a deadly tolerance."

Barry nodded. That was probably the best way to put it, though Caitlin would be disappointed by their lack of medical accuracy. He closed his eyes for a moment. Thinking of her hurt like hell. His whole body went tense even saying her name inside his head.

 _Caitlin._

Her name sounded like the melody of crystal bells before and now it was like a silent scream inside of his mind.

"We would need to bind the V9 to something." Harry grabbed a pen and started to scribble on a piece of paper. "Something to change it up a bit, to improve the impact it has on Zoom's body."

"Like a Velocity 10?" Cisco felt like he was back in High School and his chemistry class.

Harry shook his head. "No. Not exactly. Snow thought about something entirely different, something to enhance the enhancement drug. But she…she didn't find it yet." It was driving him mad. This woman was a genius and he didn't easily admit to that. She left them a gift and now it was on them to figure out the rest.

"Can you find the missing piece?" Cisco asked. He was so full questions, it was the only thing he could do right now. He couldn't build anything. Couldn't get a vibe about Caitlin. Couldn't control his powers and actively weaponize them like his evil doppelganger did. For the first time since the founding of Team Flash he felt utterly useless.

"I don't know." Harry said sincerely. How he wished Jesse was with him. He wasn't lying when he said she was even smarter than him.

Barry fell silent. He stared at the papers, trying to find a solution by himself. He wasn't a doctor or a mad scientist like Harry, but he was smart. Very smart.

"Let's say we'll find the right ingredients" Cisco said, making it sound like a cooking show, Barry welcomed a little change of tone, "Does that mean we fill all the tranquilizers we have with that stuff and fire on Zoom?"

Harry shrugged, sounded like the logical plan.

 _The logical plan._

Barry realized then that they were making another mistake. Or rather the same one they always did. They still operated inside their own little box, instead of thinking outside of it. If they met with Zoom to exchange him for Caitlin wouldn't he expect them to pull a move like that? Of course he would, because it was the next most _logical s_ tep for Team Flash. Trying to trick Zoom into giving them Caitlin and then fight him off with some ambush. So even if Harry did figure out the formula they needed, would it really matter? They couldn't just shoot Zoom. Barry couldn't just run after him and try to inject him with V9 2.0. It was too dangerous. Too risky. It was exactly the plan they would usually come up with and how many of those had already failed? Plans like this got his back broken, got Earth-2 Joe killed and Caitlin kidnapped. No, he wasn't going to make another mistake. This had to end. And it had to end the next time he would meet Zoom.

So he started to think outside the box. His mind was back to super speed. He looked again over Caitlin's notes and equations, ignored the babbling of Harry and Cisco and locked himself up inside of his head.

He ran through every plan, every little idea he had come up with during the last couple of days again and then it hit him. Like a second bolt of lightning rushing through his veins the answer appeared right in front of him.

He suddenly felt calm. At ease even. It was so clear now. He should have seen this before. There were only two ways this would end. Best case scenario: Zoom would die. Worst case scenario: Zoom would still die, but he would be dead as well. It wasn't ideal, but in a strange way the knowledge felt almost liberating. Caitlin would be safe. Everyone he loved would be safe and wasn't that what truly mattered?

He pictured her face in front of his eyes. Her soft features, those warm eyes and the beautiful smile. He wished now he had seen it before, seen what should have been so obvious but yet never occurred to him, because he never dared to even dream that far.

" _Sometimes great possibilities are right in front of us but we don't see them, because we choose not to."_

Oh sweet, sweet irony. There was a desperate laugh hidden somewhere behind all the agony he felt. How could he have been so blind? For a man known for his brilliance and speed he could be very dumb and very slow. While he was pining over Iris and looking around Central City for a new love, the one for him was right in front of his eyes the whole time. Granted their timing was never right, but oh he wished he wouldn't have been so ignorant, because now he might never got the chance to tell her all the things he should have told her long ago, all the things he kept hidden inside an unapproachable part of his heart.

He collected himself. As much as it pained him, he needed to put his feelings aside. Saving her was the priority now. His feelings put her in this position, but they sure as hell wouldn't distract him now. And maybe, a tiny part of him hoped, _just maybe_ he would walk out of this situation alive and get the chance to tell her, to kiss her, to love her and make her happy.

"What if we combine the V9 with actual drugs?" Cisco suggested.

Barry finally listened to the conversation around him again. It didn't seem like he missed an awful lot.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Leave the thinking to others, Ramon."

Barry chuckled. Their banter was just a sign of the deep affection both of them refused so hard to admit. He genuinely hoped Harry would decide to stay on Earth-1 even with the Zoom threat gone. Team Flash needed him and they would need him even more if said Flash would be gone.

"Harry and I will meet up with Zoom." Barry said.

"What?" Cisco asked confused.

Barry's voice was calm. Too calm for Harrison's liking. Something was off with him.

"Harry and I will meet Zoom as he wants us too and we'll exchange me for Caitlin."

"Dude, that's crazy! Didn't you listen to anything we just said?"

"Shut up and let the man talk, Ramon!" Harry rebuked.

Cisco rolled his eyes and imitated Harry like a petulant child. Barry smiled briefly before getting serious again.

"We'll get Caitlin to safety and I will fight Zoom. On my own. No interference from you guys or Joe or even Iris." Talking about his family pained him. He knew they would try to talk him out of his plan, but he needed to share it with them. They deserved this much.

"Yeah that doesn't sound suicidal at all." Cisco genuinely believed Barry had gone mad. Between sleep deprivation and loss of calories he simply lost his mind.

Harrison didn't think so at all. He could see what Cisco refused to, a deadly determination in his eyes.

"I will try to fight him. Using all my speed, all my powers while you make a run for it." He hesitated for a moment. Now he needed to explain the important part. "Zoom is powerful and dangerous and stronger than anyone I've ever met." He didn't need to tell them that, but still there was need to summarize again what they were up against to make his standpoint clearer. "There is a chance I can do this." He glanced at Harry who nodded approvingly. He still believed in him despite everything. Probably more so than Barry himself did.

"And if you don't win?" Cisco was scared now, not sure exactly in what direction this was going but alarmed enough that he wouldn't like what was yet to come. A childish impulse in him wanted him to put his fingers into his ears, say _la la la_ and ignore the rest of the conversation. He didn't do that, but his feed moved around, he bounced uneasily up and down, ready to make a run for it if necessary.

"We need something to bind the V9, well I think I have the solution."

Harry raised an eyebrow.

"When it's clear that I'm losing Harry will help Zoom to extract my speed."

"No he won't!" Cisco shouted.

"Yes he will." Barry said calmly. "But while doing so, Harry will inject me with so much V9 that it would be enough for five speedsters."

Gasps. Heavy Breaths. No words.

"When Zoom notices it's too late for him."

Harry's voice was quite. "He will consume the speedforce already enhanced with V9, which will damage his cells so far he'll literally blows up."

Barry nodded.

"But Barry…" Cisco was staring at his friend with wide eyes. "That will kill you. Even if the V9 doesn't which is a high gamble, the Zoomsplosion surely will. Harry can make a run for it, but you will be to –"

Barry put his hand on Cisco's shoulder. "I know."

"No." Cisco shook his head, taking a step away. "No, no and no. Not gonna happen. Stupid plan. Tell him, Harry."

Harrison was silent. He looked between the two men, guilt written all over his face.

"You can't be serious…"

Before Harrison himself could argue with Cisco, Barry spoke again. "If Zoom kills me, he will come after you. I can't let that happen. So if I die, the least I can do is taking that son of a bitch with me." He looked at Harrison. "Go ahead tell him. You're doing the Math inside your head, you know I'm right."

"Please Harry…" Cisco pleaded, but he remained silent.

* * *

"We need to get out of here." Caitlin's whole body shivered. She was tired, dehydrated and hungry. She had trouble keeping her eyes open, but she wouldn't let her guard down. Who knew what Zoom might have planned with her or Killer Frost? Letting them live meant nothing, especially looking at her companion's wounds.

"We can't." Killer Frost sounded annoyed. "I tried multiple times. Give it up, sunshine."

Caitlin shook her head. "Never. I will never ever give up." She wrapped her arms around herself. There was no way Zoom would win. That couldn't be happening. Barry would stop him, he would find a way, but only if he wasn't distracted by her being in danger.

"I need to get out of here. I know what Zoom wants and Barry…" Saying his name was like a silent prayer to her, a little bit of hope, of light inside her heart. "Knowing Barry he will give himself up to save me. I can't let that happen. I need to save him before it's too late."

"Geez, what is it with you breachers always trying to save people?" She wanted to hate these people or better, be indifferent towards them, but somehow she couldn't. The so-called 'Team Flash' was a pain in the ass from that Vibe guy with his stupid grin, the stupidly heroic Flash and now her doppelganger who was more Princess Sunshine than Snow Queen.

Caitlin smiled exhausted. "That's what we do. Always saving each other." They fell silent for a moment and without noticing it, Caitlin started to hum _Summer Nights_ yet again.

"What is so special about that song?"

"Hm?" Caitlin blushed. "We were singing karaoke. Barry and I. It just…makes me feel better."

Killer Frost smirked. "Is that why Zoom took you? Because the Flash loves you?"

She stared at her in shock. "No, why would you say that?"

Killer Frost shrugged. "Just assumed you and him were a couple now. The way you look when you talk about him, I know that look. We are the same after all."

"We're not –" but she stopped mid-sentence. Why did Zoom take her? She assumed because she was a member of the team, that made sense to her, but thinking about it now, she wasn't the obvious hostage choice. In fact, if she were Zoom she would have taken anyone else.

Cisco had powers, Harry was needed by him anyways and Joe and Iris were the family. She was his personal physician and friend yes, but wouldn't any other person make more sense?

"Ate your own words, sunshine?"

Caitlin gulped. Here she was, prisoner of a maniac, trapped in a different universe, discussing her love life with her evil doppelganger.

"What if I never have the chance to find it out?" Tears were burning inside of her eyes. She didn't want to cry, didn't want to feel weak, but finally, after days of staying strong she broke down. "What if I never see him again? What if Zoom will kill him? I can't lose him. Not him. I refuse to." She wiped her tears away, but new ones kept coming. "I refuse to." She repeated. "Not before I…" She bit her lower lip. Another memory of happier times.

" _You do that biting your lower lip thing you do when something's bothering you."_

He was the first person to ever tell her that. He always noticed the little things. That she flipped her hair when she got mad. That she chewed on her pen when she couldn't get the right answer to a medical question. That she randomly mentioned ice cream when she was feeling down. She smiled to herself. And he would always show up at night with her favorite flavor and they would talk and he would make her feel better.

"When our particle accelerator exploded I thought Ronnie died. Then when I found out he was alive he became Firestorm with Professor Stein."

"Firestorm?" Killer Frost said, a tad of mockery in her voice.

"Yes. And he flew off to be a hero. But before I even knew he wasn't dead and even when he was just gone I…I started to have feelings for Barry." She never openly talked about her feelings before. Never admitted them to anyone and barely to herself. All the confusion about what was and shouldn't be. The guilt over the kiss that wasn't even with him. The doubt she felt and hid behind a perfect smile when she said _I do_. The way her heart ached whenever he looked longingly at the woman who saw him only as her friend, though destined to become his wife.

"I loved Ronnie and I miss him. But we both changed so much. I wasn't sure about us anymore." There was no need to hold anything back anymore. Even if they made it out of there, the chances were high Zoom would still kill all of them and she needed to confess her true feelings at least once, even if it was to her other self.

"I tried to move on with another man." Now that left a bitter taste in her mouth. "He tried to move on from his first love." She liked Patty Spivot, but she always wondered what would have happened if she hadn't shown up. Yes she was attracted to Jay, but one word from Barry, one single indication he might have felt the same way about her and Jay would have had been nothing but an afterthought.

"But all this time you –"

Caitlin nodded. "Yeah. And now it might be too late to tell him that. To find out if we could make this work. Because I'm trapped in a cell and he probably plans a suicide mission."

Killer Frost groaned. Those damn breachers and their heartfelt speeches and unconditional love for each other.

"I might have an idea. You will not like it."

* * *

Cisco was hiding out in the time vault of all places. He usually preferred the basement, but they all decided to avoid it in case Zoom tries to snatch another one of them up for insurance. So camping out next to the breach was a no-no.

Still, he needed time to himself.

Barry's plan put him off balance. He couldn't understand what was going on inside of his friend's mind or rather, he refused to see any reason in that suicidal bullshit.

Caitlin was gone, taken by the Overlord of all Evil himself and his other best friend was willing to play knight in shining armor to the extent of his own life.

The door opened. Speaking of an evil Overlord. "Go away, Harry."

"Not until you get your big boy pants back on, Ramon." He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms.

"I don't wanna talk to you, you backstabbing…meanie." _Meanie? Seriously?_ The shock made him lose his mojo. Part of him was aware that he was being ridiculous. He was able to discuss his concerns about the plan-that-should-not-be-named like an adult, he just didn't want to. Instead he went into hiding, like he always did as a child when Dante was picking on him again.

"Ramon…" Harry looked up, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to say anything at all. "All my life I have been a workaholic. I didn't have enough time for my daughter. I neglected my wife. I never felt the need for something banal as friendships."

"I get it Harry. You were a dick. How is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"You are annoying, Ramon. You are annoying and childish and you drive me up a wall. Allen is slightly better, but let's be real, his sunny, always being the hero attitude can also drive me mad. Snow is probably the only sane person in this madness. But –"

Cisco studied Harry's face. Something was about to happen. Something historically meaningful and if the overall situation hadn't been so serious and dreadful, he would have probably cheered by now.

"The three of you, 'Team Flash'" He put it in question marks like he was stuck in some 90's comedy movie, "You saved my daughter. You let us both into your lives, gave us a home and a new purpose, despite everything I put you through. So believe me when I say –"

"That you love us?" In the end, Cisco couldn't resist.

"Dammit Ramon, way to ruin the moment."

He grinned sheepishly. For a second he felt like himself again. Harry really had a way to push him and he never appreciated it more than right now in this moment.

"I don't want to lose any of you."

"But you agreed with Barry."

"Because I'm not an idiot, Ramon. And despite doing your best to convince us otherwise, neither are you."

Cisco felt a tear running down his cheek. He didn't want to cry, especially not in front of Harry but he couldn't help it. Of course he understood the necessity of destroying Zoom for good. They had too many chances already, there wouldn't be another.

"He's like my brother. Caitlin was the first real best friend I ever had and Barry came into my life and I…I can't do this. Not losing one of them."

Harry put his hand on Cisco's shoulder. He wasn't good in the whole comforting business, but he at least had to try. "There might be a third option."

Cisco jumped on his feet. "What?"

"Relax. It is not as ideal as option one and almost as fatal as option two, but I talked it through with Barry and it might work."

"He can defeat Zoom without dying?" There was hope in Cisco's voice and Harry wanted to punch himself in the face.

"The outcome could very well still be deadly. But, it is not as written in stone as the other plan."

Cisco's heart was pounding. There was a chance this might didn't have to end in tragedy and no matter what it was, he was on board.

"Actually the clever nickname my evil doppelganger gives himself inspired me."

"Reverse Flash?" That name alone gave him chills.

Harry nodded. "I might be able to reverse the Velocity 9. Though it will be much harder without Snow here to help me do so."

"To do what? Make Zoom slow? Slowlocity 9?"

He decided to ignore that stupid joke for once. "With the right amount of Reverse Velocity we might manage to slow Zoom down long enough to take him out."

"But wouldn't Barry still need to take it? Even reversed it could kill him. And he will definitely lose his powers."

Now he rolled his eyes. "Thank you Ramon, what would I do without you?" He said sarcastically. "While you were moping –"

"It's called _thinking,_ Harry."

"Barry and I came up with an idea that might let him keep his speed and won't kill him. He consumes the Reverse Velocity –"

"The RV-1"

"Fine with me. The RV-1, but throws it out immediately."

Cisco sank back on his chair. That whole plan sounded too fantastical for Harry to have come up with it, he wasn't sure if he was impressed or scared. "Let me get this straight. Barry consumes the RV-1, it connects with his energy, he throws it at Zoom and when he catches it, because he can do that –"

"RV-1 will immediately go into his system and slow him down."

"Are you nuts?" He waved his hands around. "You and Barry need to be locked up. That is crazy. Totally cuckoo banana."

"I know."

"This is bonkers. This – wait, you know?"

Harry clicked his teeth. "Of course I know. Barry has to inject the RV-1 so precisely and throw it out with such an accuracy it is almost impossible. I also need to make RV-1 first, in less than three days I might add. With V9 and Turtle DNA."

"The guy you killed?"

"Not the time, Ramon.

"Sorry. But seriously, can this work?"

He hesitated. "If I manage to make the RV-1 it depends on Barry. So yes, it can work." If he learned anything on his time on Earth-1 than that Barry Allen made the impossible possible. "But we still take V9 with us. The other plan is still the final option if anything goes wrong."

"We have one shaky plan and two that most likely mean suicide, what could possibly go wrong?" Cisco put his hair out of his face. "We're really going to do this?"

"Yes."

Cisco nodded. Time to get the big boy pants back on indeed.

* * *

He sat them down in the living room of the house they shared for such a long time. Memories behind every wall, whispers of the past, the good, the bad and sometimes even the ugly.

He lost his mother when he was eleven, couldn't stay with his father, but gained a second one and a sister as well. Even if for the longest time he refused to see her as that, he now understood that maybe they were indeed always supposed to be a family. But in a different way. In a future Eobard Thawne witnessed they never lived together as children and ended up being married. On Earth-2 they were completely different people, also married. But here, in his world, his reality he was her best friend and she was his. And frankly, that was all he needed, all he wanted. Barry Allen would always love Iris West, he just wasn't in love with her anymore. Still, he knew he was about to break her heart.

"So you came up with a plan to save Caitlin?" Joe asked.

Iris studied Barry's face. He looked terrible.

He nodded, not ready yet to actually tell them about the insanity that was about to happen. He decided before he wasn't going to call his dad. He couldn't. Henry Allen lost so much already, Barry didn't have the heart to tell him a possible goodbye. It was selfish on his part, but so be it. He wasn't perfect.

"Barry, you know nothing of this is your fault right? You couldn't have known he would take her. And I'm sure we're getting her back." Sweet Iris. Sweet, positive, strong Iris. Even now she had no idea. None of them really did. They never fought Zoom directly. Never connected with his speedforce. Never got a taste of his actual power.

He folded his hands, played around with his fingers. He avoided any kind of eye contact.

"Talk to us, Bar."

Joe was so supportive, wanted to help and still somehow thought this could end well. Even if he managed to defeat Zoom, it was never going to be the same again. To defeat the monster he had to go down a path Joe wouldn't want him too. There were causalities a few times when Team Flash fought metahumans. Atom-Smasher and Sand Demon came to mind. But this was different. It happened during the fight as a means to an end. He didn't enter the fight with the intention to kill. The only time he ever wanted to, was when facing Thawne and there is hands were tied. No this time, _this_ felt not like anything he felt before. He was going to fight Zoom and he was going to kill him, even if that meant dying to do it. He wasn't trying to tame his powers and lock him up, despite fully knowing that with time, the V9 would do the final job for him. No, he wanted this. This needed to end. He was the one going to end it.

His body tensed. He never thought he would go down that path. Killing, or was it straight up murdering at this point? He didn't even care and it scared him. He would cross a certain line and he was fully aware what he traded away for that. Even if Joe and Iris would understand, they would never look at him as their innocent Barry again. Yes he did things, yes wasn't a naïve boy dressing up playing hero, he knew how cold and dark the world truly was, but still there was a part inside of him he kept protected, they kept protected. That part was going to be destroyed. He didn't know what kind of man would emerge from that, he could only hope for the best. That he was strong enough to deal with the consequences and eventually find a way back to himself, because right now he didn't even know who that was anymore.

"We considered every possibility. Every equation. We, no _I_ have found a way to fight Zoom." He was taking this on himself. Harry and Cisco weren't to blame for this and if something happened to him, he didn't want Joe to play the blame game.

"But that is something good, right?" Joe said, even smiling. "If we can get Caitlin back and defeat Zoom, we should be more positive."

 _Defeat._ It was the word they always used. _Defeat._ Not _kill._ Not _murder._ Just _defeat._

"Bar, I know you feel terrible because he took Caitlin. But she is strong. She will get through this. She wouldn't want you beat yourself up over this."

Joe always found the right words, gave the right speeches. Not today.

"I know. If someone gets through this and comes out stronger it's Cait." He wholeheartedly believed that. "But that's not it."

Iris was starting to freak out. She had never seen him like this. There was something almost _eerie_ about the way he spoke. So calm, so collected, so peaceful even. Yet with a darkness she didn't even know existed in him.

"We will meet with Zoom, do the exchange, I will fight him as good as possible."

"Barry don't get that the wrong way, but that doesn't sound like a good plan."

Iris pinched her father.

Barry looked up now, searching for their eyes.

Iris leaned back, like she wanted to be far away from the intensity she found in the usual so positive and lively green eyes.

Even Joe seemed suddenly uneasy. He too sensed that something was coming up.

Barry waited for a moment, looked around, inhaled the smell, absorbed every little detail about his childhood home. Then he started to talk. He told them everything, not giving them a chance to interrupt. He never raised his voice, never sounded apologetic and kept it all in a matter of fact way.

When he finished he waited for the storm to break over him.

To his surprised Joe just burst out into laughter. "You're kidding right?" He looked at Iris and pointed at Barry. "Tell me he his kidding."

"Dad, I don't think –"

"You can't be serious."

"I am."

"Stop doing that! Stop being so damn calm about this, it's freaking me out!" Joe's voice went uncharacteristically high-pitched.

Barry glanced over to Iris, who remained silent.

"Is this some weird heroic martyr complex because you feel guilty?"

"No. Joe, it is not. Yes, I do blame myself for Zoom and the singularity because my decision to time travel triggered it, but no this is not it. I'm not suicidal, Joe." His voice started to break, the emotions he tried to seal away were coming to the surface yet again. "I don't do this, because I want to die. I really don't want that in fact." An image of Caitlin flickered into his mind. A reminder of everything he has to fight for, the future that could be. "But I went through every other possibility and there's nothing. None. We tried everything we could and failed. I'll give it one last fight and if he overpowers me, that's it. Either Harry's new drug will work or I will make sure that monster explodes."

"Taking you with him!" Joe was on his feet now, yelling desperately.

"Yes, if nothing else works then yes. But don't mistake it for heroism. This not me being a self-sacrificing hero, that is me, a scientist who worked through every outcome and faces the logical consequences."

"Then go through it again!" Joe was on the edge of crying now and Barry hated to be the cause for that. "And since when do you talk about killing like that? You capture the bad guys, that's what you do. If you think Zoom is too dangerous to be just locked up fine, I'm a cop, let me shoot him or whatever, but you are not –"

"This is my fight, Joe. He wants me. All he ever did, everyone he hurt, it's all because he wanted me. Now he gets me."

Joe shook his head. "I don't allow it."

"Joe…" Barry got up and made few steps towards him.

"You are still my son and I don't allow it!"

Iris watched the scene in front of her unfold. She could have said something, could have interfered, but what was the point? None of them was going to change their mind, she could tell that much.

"I didn't tell you to get your allowance." Barry said, his voice frosty like Joe had never heard it before. Was that really his Barry talking? "I told you because you deserve to know. Because I wanted to say –"

"What? Goodbye?"

"Kind of." Barry's phone buzzed. "Cisco. I have to get back."

"This isn't over." Joe said when Barry walked towards the door.

Barry smiled sadly. "I know."

When he left, Joe crashed on the sofa. "Tell me this didn't really happen."

Silent tears fell down Iris' cheek. She wrapped her arms around her father, hugging him tightly. She didn't understand the world anymore. The world as she knew started to crumble right in front of her eyes and there was nothing she could do about it.

* * *

After being locked up in the lab for almost twenty four hours Cisco finally convinced Barry to step outside and get them some _good_ coffee.

So he ended up at Jitter's. While waiting for his order he looked around. Girls hanging out together, couples flirting over the coffee table, colleagues spending time together on the lunch break. Everything was so normal it was too much to handle right now.

He still didn't really sleep though his body needed it. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her, sitting in a dark cell, taunted by Zoom.

"Hey Barry."

Wally's face popped up in front of him, giving him an awkward grin. The kid still had no idea how to act around him and today Barry wasn't in the mood for trying either.

"Hey Wally." He greeted back, looking over to the counter, wondering what took so long.

The music in the background, some pop song he didn't knew, was buzzing in his head, he wanted it to stop.

"You okay, man?"

"Fine. Just busy at work."

"Weird." Wally said. "When I visited Joe earlier today he told me you took some time off, because you felt sick."

Barry sighed. It wasn't Wally's fault that everything was going downhill, but he would appreciate it if the boy would learn to shut up when necessary.

He shook his head, trying to stay calm. He was on the edge. This wasn't him thinking, but the lack of sleep, the desperation, the dreadful anticipation.

"Wally don't take this the wrong way, but stay out of my business."

Wally actually seemed surprised. They weren't exactly friends yet and far from the brothers Joe wanted them to be, but he actually believed they were finally getting somewhere. Finding some sort of relationship.

"Dude, what is wrong with you?" He didn't understand Barry. Never did from the very beginning. The guy seemed clumsy and like a coward the one moment, then like a mad genius and then like an unreliable douche who always disappeared on people. Who was this guy?

"Nothing that should concern you." Was that fair? Wasn't Wally a part of his extended family now? Didn't he technically have the right to know what's going on?

"But it concerns Joe." Wally's voice hardened. "He looked like crap today and I bet it has everything to with you and I'm so sick this!" He shouted. "You act so weird all the time and Joe and Iris think it's okay, but I don't. Making lame excuses, disappearing when shit is going down, leaving people you care about alone, that's not okay." He didn't care that people around them were looking, nor if he was making a scene. He finally got the chance to speak his mind.

Under normal circumstances Barry would have tried to calm him down, would have tried to make amends and work harder on their relationship. But this weren't normal circumstances. He took a mental note to patch things up with Wally if he should make it out alive, but for now that wasn't on the top list of his priorities.

The barrister shouted his name and he got his order. Wally followed him outside.

"That's it? You say nothing? You just leave again?"

"Wally I wish I could tell you something you want to hear, but I can't. Not now at least. I'm sorry. Take care of Joe, will you?" The last bit he added in a whisper, not sure if the Wally even heard it.

* * *

Back at Star Labs the next surprise h already arrived. Iris was waiting for him. Cisco waved his hands apologetic in the background, mouthing a 'sorry man' and 'tried to stop her'.

He put the coffee aside, waiting for her to speak.

"Can we talk?" She glared at Cisco. "Alone?"

"Oh, I don't wanna hear that." Cisco said, grabbed his and Harry's cups and left the room.

They stared at each other for a while. Barry hadn't felt this awkward around her since she discovered he was the Flash.

"I ran into Wally."

"I don't care."

"Iris."

"Why?" It was an easy enough question, but impossible to answer.

"Told you why."

She gently reached out her hand and touched his cheek. "No you didn't. You came up with science and explanations, _excuses._ I just want the truth. I deserve the truth."

What even was the truth anymore? That he wanted Zoom dead? That there was a darkness inside of him slowly taking over, calling for blood? That he really did feel guilty and felt responsible to take care of the problem? Maybe.

"I need to stop him this time. He took her, because of me. He might let her go if I hand myself over, but we all know he will kill her anyways. Kill everyone who ever crossed him. If dying means that this monster will disappear and she will be safe, then this is a sacrifice I gladly make."

In the end however only one truth in a sea of thousands mattered. And she, his Caitlin, would always be that truth.

Iris wasn't sure what she expected. Probably him admitting to some guilt complex after all. This wasn't it. This was far from it. After all these years she was shocked how much he could still surprise her. This wasn't about guilt, this wasn't about saving the world, this was about _Caitlin._ The final straw, the road Zoom shouldn't have crossed. It was _her._

How did she not notice? How didn't she see this coming? Maybe because a part of her mind was still wrapped up around the future newspaper? The promised future she once told Eddie didn't matter? Was she secretly hoping it would come true after all?

"When did you fall in love with her?" One look at his face and she knew that she was right. He didn't even try to mask his feelings.

"I don't know. I guess it just happened. I didn't know before –"

"This is such a mess." Iris clearly said more to herself than to him. "She wouldn't want you to do this, you know." Was this a low blow? Using her newfound knowledge to get him to change his mind? Was it even worth a try? She couldn't even say if she was trying for him, herself or really just for her father. Joe was devastated and she couldn't bear it.

He looked away, guilty, ashamed. "I know that. That's why I have to try to settle this without using… _that option._ "

"But even then you might end up dead." Saying it out loud made it even worse.

"Hey…" he put his arms around her, hugging her tightly. "I don't want to put you or Joe through this. But I have to do this."

"Why you? Let's ambush him, let's get Caitlin away from him, let's –"

"And then what?"

"I don't know." She pulled away from him. "I just don't want to lose you."

He softly kissed her forehead. "Then I better try not to die."

"This isn't funny."

"No, it isn't." He could barely keep his eyes open.

"Come home with me at least, sleep. You won't stand against Zoom for a second like that."

He wanted to protest, but Harry entering the home interrupted him.

"Go home, Allen. Cisco and I can handle the preparations."

He gave Harry a nod. As much as he didn't want to, he had no other choice. His body demanded a break.

* * *

Zoom didn't show up at the lair for two days. He literally left them there with nothing. When he did show up, he was in for a surprise.

He entered the room and dropped off his mask, something was off. Then he heard her scream.

"Please don't!" She was completely hysterical.

When he came near the prison cell he kept them in, he couldn't even look inside. Everything was frozen.

"Dammit." He calculated wrong.

He reached out his hand, touching the cold glass wall. Sure he could easily phase through it, but cold slowed him down.

For once he used the key. He stepped inside. Caitlin was cowering on the floor, frost bites on her naked arms.

"I didn't like that she looked like me." Killer Frost said, icy, no hint of emotions in her voice.

"You!" Zoom hissed. How did he not see that coming? He never misjudged a situation.

Caitlin reached out her hand. "Help." She choked.

That wasn't good. She couldn't die. Not yet anyways. He ran out of time and she was the key to getting the Flash's speed faster than ever expected.

"Looks like you soon have no leverage. Oops."

He ignored Killer Frost. A mistake he later regretted. He was never that careless, but reaching the desperate point of getting in touch with his own mortality could even push him that far.

The moment he pulled Caitlin on her feed, she rammed an icicle into his back. She shrieked. It actually worked.

Before he could react something cold hit him from behind.

That damn woman. Again. He should have killed her instead of toying with her.

Caitlin took the keys from him. Every bone in her body hurt and she knew if she didn't warm her body soon there was still a chance of dying hypothermia but it needed to be real for him to buy it.

Killer Frost didn't stop attacking. Caitlin managed to stumble outside of the cell.

"Come on!" She called for her doppelganger.

"I have to stay behind, I can hold him back." What a déjà vu.

"No. Not gonna happen." Caitlin grabbed her arm and dragged her away. Zoom was coughing, but even if he was temporarily distracted, it wasn't enough to kill him. Would ever anything be enough?

Killer Frost followed Caitlin. She double froze the cell door and the whole room as good as possible.

"We need to get to Star Labs. There's the only open breach." Caitlin explained.

"First we need to help you."

Caitlin shook her head. "He'll be after us soon. We need to run."

Killer Frost nodded. "I know my way through this Central City."

* * *

When Barry woke up in the morning his limbs felt sore. It wasn't a good night sleep, but at least it was something.

He tried sleeping pills but as expected his body showed zero reaction. Iris stayed with him for the longest time, talking with him and eventually putting on a movie to distract him. He didn't even remember what they were watching, because eventually dozed off.

Walking down the stairs he noticed that his steps grew more hesitant. He could hear Joe's voice coming from the kitchen and he wasn't sure he was ready for round 2. Especially since Day X almost arrived.

"Morning." Iris said, smiling like it was just a regular morning and the world wasn't crashing down on them. She handed him a cup of coffee.

He whispered a 'thank you' and then sat down at the kitchen table. Joe was moving around, preparing something smelled like eggs, but he wasn't hungry.

"Finally got some sleep?" Joe put a plate in front of him, avoiding his eyes, keeping his voice distant.

It felt like the temperature lowered by second. They never fought like that, if it even counted as a fight.

"I'm not hungry." He carefully pushed the plate away, ignoring the original question.

"So that's how it's gonna be now?" Joe asked, taking a seat in front of Barry. "We entered the Ice Age?"

"Not my decision, Joe." It was eating him up, but he couldn't fight with him again. Either Joe would actually manage to make him reconsider his plan again, which was not an option or Barry would get all defensive and might say something he didn't really mean.

"The hell it is!" Joe rammed his fist onto the table. Barry winced. He had never seen Joe like that, never thought he could be responsible to cause the man who raised him so much pain. No matter what would happen now, if he made it out alive, he wasn't sure how to repair the fractures he willingly punched into their relationship.

"You made the decision to throw your life away like this!"

"I don't throw my life away. I will fight for it, but I'm not –" His voice darkened, "I'm not taking chances anymore. I took too many already." And image of Earth-2 Joe dying appeared in front of him, a scene still haunting him. He wouldn't let that happen to _his_ Joe.

Iris leaned against the door, listening to the two most important people in her life fighting yet again, unable to stop them.

"Please Barry." Joe's voice turned from angry to sad, and it shattered Barry's heart into a million pieces. "You are my son, blood or not and I can't let you do this. You don't have to do this. You don't have to sacrifice yourself. You don't have to kill him. Don't be a hero, be my Barry."

Iris sobbed quietly, listening to her father's desperate plead.

Barry gently took Joe's hand. "I'm the only one who can stop him." His voice firm, determined. "I won't let him slaughter you, leave this whole city at his mercy, Earth-2 and God knows where he would go next."

Joe hated this stupid plan, hated the decision Barry made and how calm he was about it. He hated Zoom for brining all this tragedy into their lives. Hated Eobard Thawne for letting that goddamn particle accelerator explode and burdening Barry with his powers. Hated himself for the pride he still felt when looking at the man his boy turned into.

* * *

Caitlin waited nervously in front of Star Labs. Her doppelganger muttered something about a 'distraction' and went off, half an hour ago. She was starting to get worried.

Earth-2 was a fascinating place and she was sure that under different circumstances she would love to walk around the city, explore it and discover all the wonders she heard about.

She jittered. Their escape caused her even more bruises than she already had. From a medical point of view she was pretty sure she should have collapsed by now, but due to the rush of adrenalin her body kept working. For now.

"Hey there, sunshine." Finally she was back.

"Where have you been?" Caitlin hissed as the two of them entered the now abandoned lab. She knew from Cisco that Harry evacuated the place before they left, so it was save to snoop around.

"Finding some metahumans who owe me." She started to freeze every entrance, every possible wall in the building, making it look like a fortress of ice. "They will distract him. Did you call CCPD?"

Caitlin nodded. She made an anonymous call, telling the police that Zoom was on his way to Star Labs. They needed time.

Killer Frost groaned.

Caitlin noticed blood dripping from her side. "Your wound reopened."

"I'd say it looks worse that it is." She pushed herself against a wall, "But that would be a lie." She pointed at Caitlin's shoulder. "You're bleeding, too."

"Really?" She completely missed that. "Anyway, you need help." The wound was serious before, but she was pretty sure that Killer Frost used too much of her powers and strained her body way too much before and would bleed if they didn't act fast.

She became her ally and she wouldn't let her die.

They made their way down to the basement, to the portal.

"Hate to break it to you, sunshine…" Killer Frost said, pain in her voice. "But we're not speedsters. We can't make it through."

"I'm working on it." It wasn't exactly a lie. She knew the trouble they would be facing if escaping Zoom, but she hoped that by the time they made it to Star Labs, she would have actually come up with a plan.

She stared at the portal subconsciously reaching her hand out. He was on the other side. So close, yet so far away.

Killer Frost coughed. Time was running out.

How much she wished Cisco was with them. He was better in improvising than she was. She had always been the more organized one of them, making a solid plan. He was the spontaneous one, with the mad ideas. That's why they worked so well together, completed each other as a team.

"Cisco…" she whispered. "That's it!" She put her arm around the other Caitlin, helping her to walk. Her whole body was feeling numb, but she needed to function. Just a little longer. Killer Frost attacked Zoom for her, now it was up to her to save the both of them.

"Where are we going?"

"Cisco's workplace or rather where it should be." The idea was crazy, un-Caitlin like but maybe that was what she needed right now. Think like Cisco. Think like Barry. Think unorganized.

"And then what?"

"Hoping for a miracle." Or rather a vibe. It was a long shot. A universes apart long shot, but the last desperate game she could play. He got a vibe of Zoom when he touched Jay's helmet, didn't he? So maybe, maybe when she was in the exact same space he was, he would see her.

* * *

The room was still tension filled, less aggressive but way sadder. Barry wished he could tell Joe that everything was going to be fine, but he couldn't bring himself to lie.

His phone buzzed. Again saved by Cisco. "I have to…" He grabbed his jacket.

"Barry?" Iris asked concerned. "What is it?"

"He had a vibe about Cait."

"Is she?" Iris asked.

"I don't know."

"Go." Joe said, "Call us when you know something."

Barry nodded. He was about to use his speed when the door opened and Wally marched in. "Hey guys, what's up? Class was cancelled, anyone up for some fun?"

"I'll call you later." Barry only gave Wally a half-apologetic look and left the house.

"Okay." Wally looked at his father and sister. Joe seemed distracted, Iris had definitely cried. _Damn, this guy._

"Someone wanna tell me what's going on?"

* * *

Barry wasn't sure he ever ran that fast before. He almost crashed into Cisco when entered the lab.

"Dude, careful."

"Sorry." He apologized. "What did you see?"

"Not much." Cisco confessed. "Caitlin at Star Labs. And Killer Frost." He wished he could give them more, something concrete, but that wasn't always how his powers worked. He couldn't always tell if he was seeing past, present or future.

"What do you think?" Barry asked Harrison.

"Worth a shot."

Barry didn't even change into his Flash suit. He speeded down to the basement and jumped right into the portal, holding on to hope.

He wasn't thinking, he was just running.

When he reached the other side, faster than the last time, everything seemed to slow down around him.

She was standing there. Hair messy, bruised and clothes ripped but alive.

He opened his arms the moment their eyes connected. She stumbled towards him, throwing herself into his embrace, crying tears of joy and pain alike. The universe started to crash down on her and she finally felt the weight of the last couple of days. But now she was safe, at least for the moment.

He pressed his body against hers, holding on to her like to life itself. "I got you." He whispered against her skin. He couldn't believe she was really there. It felt like a dream, an impossible dream. "I got you." He said again, kissing her forehead, her cheeks.

"I knew you would find me."

Her voice was weak and frail, but hearing it was the sweetest sound.

"You are hurt." He looked at her body. My God she was hurt. Bruises and cuts and frost bites. He wanted to murder Zoom on the spot, slowly and painfully to make him pay for what she had been through.

"Not as much as her." She pointed at Killer Frost, who waved her hand at Barry.

"Hey, gorgeous."

He could only guess what happened between the two women, but he understood. They had time for questions later. For now he had to get them of this place, away from this Earth. Zoom was probably already on their trail.

He wrapped his arm around Caitlin's waist, careful not to hurt her any more. He reached out his hand, offering it to the second Caitlin in the room, who grabbed it after a short hesitation. He figured that she wasn't sure about following them. This Earth was her home after all.

"Hold on tight." He told both of them before jumping through the breach once again.

The moment they made it to the other side Killer Frost fell down on her knees. Barry was still holding on to Caitlin. He wasn't able to let go of her body.

"Caitlin" Cisco exclaimed.

She managed to give him a smile between her tears. "Hey…what did I miss?"

He shook his head and laughed. They had her back.

"Harry…she…she is hurt." She gazed at Killer Frost.

"I'll take care of it." He helped the doppelganger on her feet. "Good to have you back, Snow." He said to her, with so much affection that Caitlin knew she needed to hug him later on.

Her fingers were wrapped around the fabric of Barry's shirt. The adrenalin seemed to leave her body, she could feel how she slowly slipped out of consciousness. "Barry…" she managed to say before the world turned black.

He caught her, lifting her up. "I'll get her upstairs. She needs treatment."

Cisco nodded, trying not to panic. "I'll set alarms and traps and do everything I can to stall Zoom."

* * *

"I know you guys are keeping secrets!" Wally shouted. "But I thought once we get to know each other better, you would start trusting me!"

Joe didn't had the strength to speak up anymore. He was drained out of energy and Iris thought he looked about ten years older right now.

"We trust you, Wally." She tried to calm down her little brother, without much success.

"Funny way showing that." He snapped. "You wanted us to be family. Families don't lie to each other like that." He could see it in their eyes. Something was eating them up. His father, his sister. Two people he didn't know for that long but who he learned to love deeply already. Joe who he admired for his strength, Iris for her kindness.

"Wally, it is not our secret to tell."

He laughed humorless. "It's his right? Of course it is. It always comes down to _him._ " Oh the bitterness. He tried so hard to get over it. It wasn't Barry's fault that his Mom kept him from meeting his father and sister. It wasn't Barry's fault that he had to live and grow up with the Wests. It wasn't Barry's fault that he was the son Wally wanted to be. But it was Barry's fault that his family kept lying to him, excluding him from their inner circle. It was also Barry's fault that they were in pain right now.

Iris phone suddenly rang through the awkward silence. "That's Cisco. I'll –"she pointed at the stairs and left the room.

Wally couldn't believe it. Now Barry's friends were even calling her, making her run out on him too, having secret conversations.

"I'm sorry, Wally." Joe said after a while, finally finding his voice again. "I know this must be hard on you."

"You think?"

Iris ran down the stairs, grabbing her jacket and car keys. "Wally, I'm so sorry but Dad and I need to leave."

"What the -?"

Joe's eyes widened. "Is…is she?"

Iris shook her head. "He got her. He got her back."

To say Wally was confused might have been the understatement of the century. "What is going on? Who got who back?"

Joe got up. "I'm so sorry, son. We'll take later. We need to take care of something."

He looked after them in a semi-shock as they left. _That so wasn't happening. No._ He made a decision. If no one was going to tell him, he would find out by himself.

* * *

Caitlin slowly opened her eyes, needing a moment to adjust to the bright light around her. For a brief second she thought she was back in Zoom's lair, that her body finally gave in and she only imagined being in Barry's arms in her delirious state.

"Hey there. Welcome back." He was holding her hand, placing a soft kiss on her palm. His voice was soft, sweet like honey, almost mesmerizing to her. He was real.

"You found me." She said with a smile.

"Only because you are the most amazing person I know. You never cease to amaze me Caitlin Snow." His eyes didn't leave hers for even a second, like he was afraid that once he looked away she would disappear on him again.

"I did well, didn't I?" She slowly sat up, with him supporting her.

"Are you kidding me?" He grinned, feeling like himself for the first time in days. "You tricked Zoom and escaped on your own. You are a hero." Not that he didn't know that before. Still, he was proud, so amazed, so captivated by that wonderful woman, he couldn't tell her that enough.

"I had some help."

"From another Caitlin Snow…so…"

She laughed lightly. Music in his ears. He would do anything to protect that laugh forever.

"How is she?" In typical Caitlin fashion she obviously cared more for the other woman's condition than her own.

"Harry patched her up. Not as well as you would have done but she'll live." He put his hand on her cheek, softly caressing her.

She leaned into his touch.

"How are you feeling?"

That was a good question. How was she feeling? "Exhausted." Her body would need a while to completely recover, but she knew she was going to be fine. "But, oddly safe."

He pressed his lips against her forehead. It felt so natural doing that.

"What about Zoom?" She asked. "Killer –"she shook her head, "Caitlin got some metas to help us distract him, but he will come after us."

He nodded. "I know. Cisco is keeping the breach at check, he installed the leftovers of the Reverse Flash trap downstairs and some booby traps. It won't hold him, but slow him down."

That was enough Zoom-talk for her. At least for the moment. She swung her arms around him, pulling him closer. He sat down on her bed, hugging her tightly, breathing her in.

"I thought I would lose you." He whispered against her neck.

She pulled away, making him look at her. "You haven't. You won't."

That he agreed on. He wouldn't lose her. He softly put her hair out of her face. Zoom would never ever touch one perfect hair of hers again. "He will never hurt you again. I swear it on my life. He will pay for what he did to you."

And she could tell he meant every word with scary intensity.

"There's one thing I don't understand." She needed to know. She needed to understand what this intensity meant, the closeness between them. "Why did he take me? Of all people, why me?"

Barry's face moved even closer to hers. Their lips were only inches apart. "Because for some reason he knew."

"Knew what?" Her heart was bouncing inside of her chest, a million butterflies dancing in her stomach.

"That if he would take you away, the world would start to crumble." His lips briefly brushed hers. "You don't need me to save you. You did that pretty well on your own." He softly kissed the corner of her mouth. "But I need you." He kissed her neck. "I need you so much." His hand found its way under her shirt tracing the soft lines on her back.

She shivered under his touch. This time it was the positive kind of shiver, anticipation, the wish for more.

"I may escaped Zoom." She breathed, "But never think I don't need you just as much."

His hand rested on her hips, his eyes staring into hers, fiery, passionately.

"You're stuck with me, Barry Allen." She said, pressing her body as close as possible to his. "No Zoom, no other craziness in our lives is going to change that."

His lips finally crashed down on hers. Softly first, considerate, with all the sweetness she expected from him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him right back.

The kiss heated up fast. More passionate, more desperate.

He slowly pushed her down on her back, rolling over her, still careful that he won't hurt her. She tugged at his shirt until he finally lost it.

He kissed the bruises on her arms, her neck, as if he could make them disappear. "Are you sure this isn't going too fast for you?"

She smiled, placing soft kisses on his chest. "Says the fastest man alive?"

He kissed the top of her nose, making her laugh. "I just don't want to rush things with you." Were they moving this fast because both of them were aware that soon the only thing left could be ashes and destruction? That the final showdown was so near, they could almost feel the blue electricity crawling up their skin?

"I just want you." She pulled him into another long kiss. His hands ran down her pants removing them. "Now. Forever. Please."

His hand intertwined with hers. She looked at him with those gorgeous deep eyes, giving him every reason to fight. Here with her he found himself again. "I want you too, more than you can ever imagine."

"I think I have a pretty good idea."

He chuckled, closing the distance between them again. He was getting lost in her. Her beauty and kindness, her smile and affection. They would protect each other. For her he would fight. For her he would win and come back.

* * *

"So, I pretty much turned this place into a fortress." Cisco said proudly. "Zoom needs to conquer the Temple of Doom before he gets to us." He laughed. "Zoom and the Temple of Doom. Got it?"

Harry rolled his eyes. At least Ramon was back to his normal self.

"How is Caitlin?"

"Better. Frost is still asleep."

They exchanged a look. Having Killer Frost there felt surreal. They never expected to see her again and yet here she was, on Earth-1, having saved yet another member of Team Flash.

"I'm gonna check on Caitlin."

Harry grabbed his arm. "Allen's with her."

Cisco raised an eyebrow. "So? Team Flash reunion, maybe I get some donuts."

"Give them some privacy, will you?" Did he need to spell it out for him? It didn't take a genius to conclude how Barry and Caitlin felt about each other and that her abduction caused them to confront these feelings.

"Why?" He asked with all the naivety of a child.

"Because I don't think those two want donuts right now. I think their reunion –"he couldn't believe what he was about to say, "is a little bit more…"

"Oh." Thank God it hit him before he had to spill it out. "Barry and Caitlin? Barry and Caitlin. _Barry and Caitlin._ " Cisco suddenly thanked God or karma or the universe that he never got a vibe about that. Now that would have been an image he would never get out of his head. Still, it made sense. In an odd way it made sense. Yes, that could actually work. He grinned.

"Still having a Zoom problem." He switched the topic. "Do you think Barry will still go through with the plan?"

Before Harry could answer, he was saved by the sudden entrance of Iris and Joe.

"Is she okay?" Iris said frantically.

"How in the world did she escape? Did Zoom already show?"

"Guys relax." Cisco waved his hands. "She is fine. Bruises and some other minor wounds, but other than that fine. And Zoom thankfully hasn't shown his ugly face yet. Or else we probably would be all dead. Angry Zoom is probably worse than good 'ol regular psychotic Zoom."

"Is Barry still going through with it?" Joe asked. Again the question and again directed at Harry. How was he supposed to answer it? He couldn't read Barry Allen's mind and even if liked to act all-knowing, he didn't actually know everything.

"Going through with what?" A voice suddenly said.

Iris turned around in shock. "Wally."

"Star Labs is your big secret?" He pointed at Wells. "So even this weird dude knows what's going on?"

"I'm not weird." Harry muttered.

"No comment on that Harry." Cisco said, all while pressing a little button hiding the Flash suit behind and iron door. That was close.

"Wally this is not the time –"Joe tried to reason with him.

"It never is the time. No one was giving me answers, so here I am."

He followed them. They were so careless. If the situation hadn't been so dead serious, with a Zoom-shaped cloud hanging all over their heads, Joe would have almost found it amusing. Wally was as stubborn as his older sister, never taking _no_ for an answer.

Harry leaned closer to Cisco. "Didn't you say this place was like a fortress?"

"From the inside…"

Iris grabbed her brother's arm. "I'm serious, you need to get out of here. This is dangerous."

"Dangerous?" he raised his eyebrows, looking around. It was just a lab. A big one, with a questionable reputation, but only a lab. "What are you guys doing here? Producing meth?" he joked, "With Barry as your kingpin?" It sounded so ridiculous he actually laughed out loud. No, Barry Allen was many things but dangerous wasn't one of them. That guy was clumsy, a weirdo and hid at the first sign of danger.

"Actually it would be pretty easy for me to make meth." Barry walked towards them, one arm wrapped around Caitlin, who was still a bit shaky while walking.

She now wore one of the Star Labs sweaters, thankful they always kept a few around. Barry's clothes hung loosely on him, his hair messy. Both of them smiling, despite the current situation. They weren't coy about what just happened between them.

Iris smiled at her, then her eyes wandered to Barry offering a silent support to his newfound love.

Joe on the other hand was confused. He didn't understand what was suddenly going on and why everyone, including Iris seemed to be in on it.

"What happened to you?" Wally exclaimed, noticing the bruises in Caitlin's face. She was glad her sweater hit the worse ones on her arms and shoulders.

"Long story." She said.

"Okay. Whatever it is you're doing here, it can't be legal. And she should probably go to the hospital" Wally never expected his dad to be involved in something that was definitely beyond the law, but all pointed towards it. Nothing made sense anymore.

Barry found Wally's sudden appearance to be an inconvenience, but much to his own surprise, he didn't care if he would find out his secret. It was for the better anyway. He was part of the family now and they couldn't keep him in the dark forever, the damage was already done.

Still, he had no time to explain things to him. In a move untypical for Barry, he decided to ignore the elephant in the room, let him make his demands or whatever he wanted.

Cisco made a step towards his friends, when his head started to spin, a vision entering his mind. He saw lightning. Red clashing with blue. Barry on his knees. A hand vibrating. Blood splashing. He heard Caitlin screaming.

He felt dizzy once the vision decided it was enough horror for the moment.

"What just happened?" Wally asked.

"What did you see?" Barry asked calmly.

Should he tell them everything? Would that discourage him to fight? Was it even the real future or just a possible one?

"He is coming."

Joe shot Wally a look, silencing him before he could ask yet another question they had no time to answer. He felt sorry for the kid, but right now he needed to make sure his other son wasn't going to throw his life away.

"Barry. Caitlin is safe. You don't have to do this anymore."

Barry looked at Caitlin, pressing a soft kiss against her temple. "The plan is still on."

Harry expected this much and looking at Cisco he knew that he wasn't the only one.

"Did he tell you about this?" Joe's next question was directed at Caitlin.

"Yeah." She squeezed Barry's hand. "You guys" She looked not only at Barry now, but also at Harrison and Cisco, "You are absolutely insane. Brilliant but insane."

"That means you don't agree with it, right?" Joe was hopeful. If he read the signs correctly than something definitely happened between Barry and Caitlin and as much as it confused him, because in his mind Barry was still very much in love with his daughter, Patty-interval or not, he could use it to stop him.

Caitlin however wasn't going to play along.

"I could ask you not to do it." She said to Barry, "But we both now that would only make you feel more conflicted as you already are. I believe in you. I always have. I know that you have to do this."

She understood him better than anyone ever had before.

"There's just one thing you need to do if I agree to support the worst plan ever."

"Everything." He whispered.

"Come back to me." She still refused to lose him.

He kissed her passionately, not caring who watched them. Then he turned around, addressing his team, his family, even Wally who looked like a confused lost puppy in the midst of them.

"I know none of you is really on board with this. Not even you Harry."

Harrison grunted.

"But I promise you, that I will try my best. That is all I can give you now. I have to do this. He will be here soon. And he won't make it out of here alive. This time it's him or me. Or both."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is all this talk? Who is _he_ and what are you doing? That sounded an awful lot like planning a murder." Wally said. Was this really Barry talking? His voice sounded different, more serious. His movements nothing like the clumsy guy he met before.

"I'm sorry Wally, we should have told you before." And with that Barry disappeared into thin air and the Flash, but minus mask suddenly stood in front of Wally.

"You…you are…how…?" It all made so much sense now. The excuses, him always disappearing, the lies. But this was Barry. _Barry Allen._ How could this guy be the Flash? The hero who put his life on the line to save the city, who fought metahumans on a daily base.

A noise caught all of their attention.

"Oh, not good." Cisco grabbed his iPad. "Zoom-alert. Showtime, I guess."

"Okay." Barry said. "Harry will come with me, he only needs us. You guys hide inside the time vault."

"I installed an electromagnetic field that should keep Zoom from phasing inside, if something goes wrong." Harry explained.

"We also have a fake wall now." Cisco added.

"Barry…" Joe gave him a hug. It wasn't the usual warm hug, but an awkward insecure one. So many things were left unspoken and now they didn't have the time for it.

Barry then kissed Iris' cheek. He gave Wally a nod before whispering into his ear. "If anything goes wrong, be there for them. Don't blame them for my secret."

"Okay, he overcame booby trap one to five. So much for Zoom of Doom."

"You guys need to leave now." Barry urged.

"Just a moment." Cisco said, knowing they probably didn't have one. He stretched his hand out. "Come on."

Barry placed his hand on Cisco's. Caitlin hers over Barry's.

"Harry…" Cisco said with a warning undertone.

"We don't have time, Ramon."

"Then come on!"

Harrison put his hand over Caitlin's. He looked at his team, his new family and prayed that he won't lose them tonight.

"One, two, three –"Cisco said.

"TEAM FLASH!" They all shouted at the same time.

Barry kissed Caitlin again. "Be careful." She said.

"Doing my best. Now, go."

"Follow me. We'll get Killer Frost and then to the vault." Cisco said to the West family. "And Barry, kick some Zoom-ass!"

He watched them leave. It was now or never. The fight he had been waiting for. He thought he would be scared, terrified even, but to his surprise he felt confident. He had something Zoom didn't have. He had something to protect, something to fight for and that Zoom would never understand. He had the real motivation.

"Ready?" Harry asked.

"Ready when you are."

They shared a brief smile, before Barry took his arm and speeded outside. Zoom would follow them, he was sure about it.

* * *

It started to thunder. _How ironic,_ Barry thought. The ideal weather for two speedsters to clash. It was like a giant, fucked up cosmic joke.

The safety of moments before was gone. The brief fragments of happiness and security felt not like minutes, but a lifetime ago.

He couldn't let his feelings dictate him now. To fight and win against a cold hearted monster meant fight with the same intensity. He carried his friends, his family, his Caitlin inside his heart, a reminder why he needed to live, but he also needed to focus. Focus on Zoom. Focus on the fight. Focus on the kill.

He clenched his fists.

They didn't have to wait for too long. Zoom seemed as eager as he felt to finally end the battle that was going on for so long now.

"Flash." He hissed.

"Hunter." Barry said, provoking him on purpose. Caitlin and Killer Frost escaping already drove him into a rage, Barry could tell that much just from looking at him, so maybe if he drove him a little further, he would make a mistake.

Harry stepped back. He wasn't exactly keen to come between the two of them fighting for death. He held the V9 close by, hoping he wouldn't have to use it. Barry carried the vile of RV-1 with him. _For once, please let it go according to plan._

Barry didn't put his mask on, didn't feel the need for it. If Zoom really attacked him, it wouldn't be much of a protection anyway. He could feel the lightning rushing through his whole body.

"One chance to surrender my speed to you."

Barry laughed. As if he would let anyone else live then. "Bring it on." He said and launched forward.

* * *

"I should get out. Help me." Killer Frost said annoyed, clutching at the bandage around her waist. "Among all of you cuties, I'm the only one who really ever did something against Zoom."

"Not gonna happen." Caitlin said, with an equally annoyed tone. "You are staying here. Doctor's order."

Wally looked between the two of them. "That is freakier than Barry being the Flash."

"I'm sorry Wally." Joe apologized. "We should have told you."

"No, I'll get it." Maybe he was the one who had been acting immature after all. Fearing competition when there was none. "That is not an easy secret to share."

"Yeah."

Joe looked so sad. From bits and pieces Wally could get not a full, but a clearer picture of the situation. Barry was going up against Zoom, that evil Speedster that was all over the news when he beat up the Flash – _Barry –_ before. This time Barry had a plan, one that would most likely kill him. Wally felt a sudden heaviness inside his chest. He and Barry didn't always get along, he said some pretty awful things, but secretly he always wanted to make it work, wanted to get to know the real person Iris and Joe loved so dearly. Now he he'd might lose the chance to do so.

"I wanna know what's going on outside." Iris said. "This waiting, it makes me crazy."

"Iris, Iris, Iris." Cisco said, faking an offended sound in his voice. "You're in here with me, world class engineer and unwilling Padawan of the one and only Dr. Not-Harry-But-Secretly-Murdering-Douche-From-The-Future-Wells. I have handmade super cameras everywhere." He pulled out his iPad, they hovered above it.

"I don't know if that is creepy or awesome." Iris said.

Caitlin's whole body started to shake. Iris took her hand. They would go through this together.

* * *

Harry couldn't see a thing. Or not a real thing anyways. There was a whole lot of blue and red clashing, but who was actually having the upper hand remained a mystery.

He wished he could do more. He wasn't used to feeling helpless. He helped create Zoom. Barry shouldn't be the one paying the prize for that.

* * *

"We can see nothing." Wally stated the obvious.

"Can't you slow it down somehow?" Joe asked Cisco.

"I'm Vibe, not Turtle."

Caitlin bit her lower lip as soon as Turtle's name escaped his lips.

"What's bothering you, sunshine?" Killer Frost asked.

"Nothing." Caitlin turned her attention back to the screen, hoping to catch a glimpse of Barry.

"You're biting your lower lip. We only do that when something is bothering us."

"Creepy." Wally whispered.

Cisco agreed on this one.

"It's just…." Caitlin forced her eyes away from the screen. "Barry told me how you made the RV-1."

"The what now?" Wally asked.

"A drug to make Zoom slow." Iris briefly explained before letting Caitlin continue.

"It is brilliant. It should work. But…there's just something. Something bothering me."

She couldn't shake the feeling that something horrible was going to happen. Some mistake. Some miscalculation.

Eliza. Trajectory. Turtle. Velocity-9. Enhancement. Body reaction.

Words over words were floating inside of her mind like a puzzle. She just needed to put the pieces together. Fast. Before it was too late.

* * *

A fight never felt like this before. He didn't know if his movement were ever so precise. Every hit calculated, every kick a success.

Zoom threw a punch, he blocked and countered with one of his own. It was hit and repeat, hit and repeat.

They were equally fast now, Barry didn't doubt that. Zoom even seemed surprise by how easy he could keep up. It was a rush he never felt before. They were surrounded by lightning, red and blue dancing in a chaotic cyclone.

Blood was dripping from his mouth. He knew Zoom hit him hard a couple of times, but he didn't feel any pain. He was so focused on running, so focused on winning he refused to surrender to pain.

Another kick. Another punch.

This was never going to end, he realized. He needed a different strategy or they would both just pass out from exhaustion. He didn't want to take risk that he was the first to lose control. Zoom's body was pumped up with V9, he feared he could go on longer than him.

But what could he do? Any different move could be wrong and end up killing him. Or leaving him at Zoom's mercy and use _that option._ No, he needed to distract him somehow. Zoom didn't even give him the chance to produce lightning, so he couldn't use the RV-1. All he needed was a moment, a little moment with Zoom not at his throat.

He reduced his speed, getting a clearer vision of his surroundings. Then he felt it. In the back. Zoom's claw hit him. He fell down, hard, for the first time since they started, he felt all of the bones in his body.

* * *

"No!" Iris shrieked when Barry fell down.

They could only witness how he lay on his stomach, with Zoom looking down on him.

Caitlin's mind went blank. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not yet. Not ever. He was going to defeat this monster. He was going to come back to her. They were supposed to build a future.

"Oh no…" Cisco said. "I saw that happening. Zoom will kill him Reverse Flash Style and then probably still somehow take his speed." He saw the vibrating hand in his vision. The blood.

"And you didn't tell him about this?" Joe shouted.

"I…" Suddenly it felt stupid. He didn't want to influence Barry beforehand, now he felt like he should have told him.

Now they were only left to watch in horror.

* * *

"You are still too slow." Zoom taunted him. He looked at Harrison. "Your turn Wells."

Harry walked towards them, trying to come up with a different solution. Something else they haven't considered yet. But there was nothing.

* * *

"No…wait." Cisco shook his head. "This is different. Why isn't he killing him?"

"Isn't that a good thing?" Wally asked.

Caitlin and Iris exchanged a look. Cisco was never wrong before, but sometimes he interpreted a vibe differently than it actually played out.

* * *

"A little faster, Wells." Zoom's voice vibrated, making him sound even more demonic. He grabbed Barry around the neck and lifted him up. "Maybe I should break your spine again, so you won't try to run."

Barry smirked. It was enough to irritate Zoom just for a moment. He kicked him with all the speed he got, raised his hand, mirroring Reverse Flash's most famous move.

Zoom tried to dodge the attack. He was fast enough to turn slightly away, but Barry's hand still went through his stomach.

Zoom screamed in agony as his body dropped to the ground, blood splattering everywhere.

Barry knew he missed the heart and that the V9 probably made Zoom heal faster, but now he got a shot to slow him down. _By courtesy of Eobard Thawne,_ He thought. At least that man was good for something. He taught Barry how to be ruthless. _Ruthless._ He stared at Zoom. He shouldn't even waste a second, but he couldn't help it. Blood was dripping from his hands. _Zoom's blood._ Why go ahead with the plan? Why not reach for the heart this time? It would be so easy. So damn easy. His hands were already dirty. And if he was being honest, he enjoyed it. Seeing his enemy suffer after everything he had put them through, it gave him a certain satisfaction. Yet something inside of him pulled him back. He couldn't give into that urge, end it like this, become like the men who taught him most of what he knew. _Eobard Thawne. Hunter Zolomon._ Barry Allen would not join their ranks of madness. Joe was right, this wasn't him.

He briefly looked at Harry, giving him a nod. It was now or never. He injected himself with the RV-1 and started to run.

* * *

"Holy. Shit!" Cisco screamed. "He Reverse Flash-ed him!" His stomach turned. That move. That move still made him nervous and uneasy. "He literally tried to crush Zoom's heart!"

It was hard to detect if Cisco was excited or shocked at this point.

Joe leaned against the wall and stared into the open space. He knew Barry wanted to kill Zoom, he said so several times, but for Joe it seemed unreal. To him killing in the line of duty was always an act of self-defense or to protect others. He only fired his gun when absolutely necessary. Barry was fighting for his life, wanted to protect them, _him,_ and yet still it was different. He couldn't explain it, there was no logic behind it, but seeing Barry, his Barry, trying to crush a man's heart with his bare hands was an image he would never forget. The Flash stood for hope and heroism, that image didn't fit with that. _But he didn't finish the job._

Iris looked equally disturbed, but slightly more understanding. She knew he was doing what was necessary. She hold onto Wally's arm, squeezing it hard. Her brother was in a little shock. It was his first time witnessing a fight like that. Watching Barry as the Flash. She could only imagine what was going on inside of his mind.

Caitlin was silent. She wasn't shell-shocked like the rest of them. She knew he would do everything, really _everything_ to defeat Zoom. She wasn't going to judge his methods. He was still Barry and she loved all sides of him, even the darker once he barely let anyone see.

"He is going for the RV-1 shot!" Cisco pointed at the screen. Victory was so close now, Barry only had to hit the target and get the whole drug out of his system. And then, yeah then what? Kill Zoom straight ahead? Or did he decide to lock him up and let him succumb to the V9 after all?

"Maybe we should have mixed the Velocity-9 with my DNA and given Barry temporary ice powers. Now that would have come in handy." Killer Frost said, sounding almost bored. She didn't watch much of the fight, she tried to stay detached and cold, she couldn't afford to really care about these people. More that she already did.

"What did you just say?" Caitlin asked.

"That Barry could have used my ice powers. But we didn't have time for that. And oh well, the drug would have still killed him. Bummer."

Everything fell into place in Caitlin's mind. Her face turned pale. She shook her head. "No no no no no."

"What is it?" Cisco asked.

"We have to stop him!" Her body still hurt, but she made her way to the door, deactivated the force field that should keep Zoom out and opened the door. She started to run, with Cisco at her heels.

"Tell me what's going on." He said, trying to catch his breath.

"Eliza developed powers with the V9. The drug also enhances powers that already exist. You guys mixed it up with the DNA of another metahuman." She reached the main door. "If Barry shoots Zoom with the RV-1, he won't take away Zoom's speed, but also give him Turtle's powers for a while."

"But it should reverse…" Cisco stuttered. He realized it. The Turtle DNA. It should have made the difference, the final compound to turn the V9 around, instead it would only make it work differently in a far more dangerous way.

What had they done?

* * *

Joe grabbed his gun. "I'm going after them. I don't know what's wrong, but I'm not hiding for a second longer."

"I'm coming with you." Iris said.

"No. You and Wally stay with her." He pointed at Killer Frost.

"I think I killed you on my Earth." She said bluntly. "Besides Daddy-O, I'm not a babysitter."

Joe didn't want his kids there. Hell, he never even wanted Wally involved in all of this. This was madness. Besides, he made a decision for himself. He wouldn't let Barry lose himself like that. His Barry wasn't a guy to kill a man with his hands and he wouldn't let him. He knew what this could do to him and he would gladly take that experience away from him. Zoom needed to be stopped, he understood that. So he would be the one to take the final shot. Once the speedster was down, he would shoot him.

"I'm coming with you." Iris said again and walked past him.

"Then I'm coming, too." Wally followed her.

Killer Frost tried to get up, but her body was still too weak. So she took the iPad on her lab. "Go ahead, have fun with Zoom. I'm good."

Joe didn't think twice, he ran after his kids.

* * *

Barry ran and ran, he felt the RV-1 in his bloodstream, his DNA and finally his speedforce. _Here it goes._ He concentrated hard. He needed to force it out of his body, if he didn't manage to do it, it would start to slowly kill him like the V9 would have.

Zoom was trying to get up, holding his bleeding stomach, but the wound already started to close.

Barry took one last breath and fired.

* * *

"Barry! NO!" Caitlin ran outside the building, screaming as loud as possible.

"What is going on?" Harry asked confused.

"Oh my good…" Caitlin felt dizzy. Barry shot the lightning, hitting Zoom hard. It was done. The damage was done. There was no way out.

"Caitlin!" Iris and Wally and finally Joe stormed outside. "What is going on?"

"That's what I asked too." Harry said.

"We just gave Zoom the power of slow-motion." Cisco said, sounding static. All traces of color left his face. He moved closer to Caitlin. If they would die, then at least they would die together.

Caitlin couldn't believe this was it. This couldn't be it. They were so close, _so close._ She just discovered her love for Barry. They needed time, needed to grow as a couple. She wanted to have a real first date, wanted all the experiences, the good and the bad with him. They deserved it. Goddammit, they deserved it.

"I love you, Cisco Ramon." She whispered.

"I love you too, Caitlin Snow." He said back, shooting her a grin. Who knew if he would ever get the chance to smile at her again? He took her hand and squeezed it. And then, just for a second, a blurry image entered his mind. He saw Caitlin in a dress, walking down a path of flowers, her arm linked with Harry before he gave her away and another man took her hand.

Was that real? Did he imagine that in desperation?

"Is that thing going to kill us?" Wally asked.

"Nothing seems to go over your head, West Jr." Harry remarked. His snark was all he had left now. This was his fault, his miscalculation. He came up with the idea to create the Reverse Velocity, but he wasn't thorough with it, missed obvious facts. Now it would kill them.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I should have thought this through."

"No." Caitlin said. "Don't blame yourself. You were under so much pressure." In the end it was neither of them who figured it out but Killer Frost, so causally, as such a matter of fact. She must have been a great scientist before she turned into a metahuman.

Harry didn't agree with Caitlin, but was thankful she tried to make him feel better. How he wished he could have made up with Jesse, tell her how sorry he was and how much he loved her.

Joe's grip hardened around his gun. Maybe there was still a chance. Maybe if he would just walk over there and shoot Zoom he could end it.

"Daddy?" Iris suddenly said. She hadn't called him that in a while. "Don't go. Stay with me." As if she could read his mind. As if she had known all along he decided to shoot Zoom for Barry.

He wrapped his arms around both of his children and waited. There was nothing more they could do. Running was pointless.

* * *

Barry landed on his feet, wiping a mixture of sweat and blood away from his face. He was pretty sure the RV-1 was out of his system, though he wouldn't be completely certain until Caitlin did a few tests.

Zoom was shaking on the ground. The monster was down. All he had to do know was grab him and kill him. Something inside of him hesitated again, the same feeling that made him stop before. A moment ago he was ready for the final blow and now seeing him defenseless made it feel wrong. No matter what he did or who he was, at this moment he was defenseless and at his mercy. He could end the terror, but to what prize? Give in, destroy the monster and become one in the progress. No. He fought the urge to cross that path and he wouldn't give in now.

"Hahaha." Suddenly Zoom got up. This wasn't possible. This couldn't be happening.

He removed his mask, revealing as many bruises in his face as Barry had. He laughed manically.

"You fool. You thought you were so smart. You should have killed me when you had the chance instead of taking the cowardly way out."

Barry didn't understand the world anymore. What was going on? Why wasn't it working? He was sure he did everything right, by now Zoom shouldn't be able to even blink anymore.

"Thank you Flash, for that temporary upgrade."

"Temporary…" Then he understood. How didn't they consider this? It was so easy. Such a rookie mistake. He didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry or both at the same time. They thought they were so smart and in the end, he won again because they made him even stronger.

Why didn't he kill him when he was lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood? Why did he go through with this plan when he could have ended it? Why did he hesitate twice? He had him. Dammit, he had him and he refused to finish what he started.

 _Because in the end you couldn't just kill him._

He felt like all talk and no action. He and Harry and Cisco made all a mistake with the serum, but it was on him that Zoom even took it. _Because you backed out._ How Thawne would love that moment. The heroic Flash wasn't able to kill the bad guy, because he was afraid of his own darkness. Now wasn't that a beautiful tragedy?

"Barry!"

Her voice. Why was he hearing her voice?

He turned around. They were all there. They left the safety of the time vault to help him or as it looked like now, die by his side.

No. He needed to get them away. He wanted to run towards them, but his limps weren't moving. He knew that feeling. He felt it when Turtle used is powers on him only this time they were much stronger.

"Interesting power for a speedster, hm?" Zoom grinned into his face. He knew he won. "Too bad I cannot keep them."

One move of Zoom's hand and Barry fell to the ground. He felt a first ramming into his stomach.

"Please…" He begged. "You want my speed, my life…take it. But let them live." It was like bargaining with the devil, a lost cause.

"Pathetic." Zoom kneed down, grabbed him by the hair and turned his head into the direction of his friends. "I only need one of them." Meaning Harry. "I want you to watch." He hissed into Barry's ear. "I want you to hear them scream when I slowly break their bones, make them beg for me to kill them."

Barry tried to free himself, but Zoom slowed time yet again.

"You almost got me and now this." He smiled. "Always too slow. Too slow, _Barry._ " He sped towards the people Barry loved most in the world.

Barry screamed out. He couldn't even here his own voice. Again people would die because of mistakes he made and then Zoom would take his speed and kill him as well. All the planning, the big speeches, all for nothing. Even if Harry would give him the pure V9 now, even if he and Zoom would both die, all of them would be dead. He would save the city, Earth-2 and Harry would get a chance to see Jesse again, but he would die, knowing he lost her. Knowing she wouldn't be alive anymore. Cisco wouldn't be alive anymore. His family wouldn't be alive anymore.

He had no problem with dying, felt that right now he probably deserved it, but he couldn't let them die. There was no way he could do that.

He tried to move his body, but he couldn't.

Sudden images flickered through his mind. Memories. Him and Iris and Joe and later Wally on family night. Playing games, ordering pizza, laughing together.

Cisco forcing him into yet another Star Trek marathon, impersonating Spock so badly it made both of them cry tears because they laughed so hard.

Arguing with Harry, trying to convince him that Earth-1 was his home now, that he was part of their team and they wouldn't let him leave again.

There was his dad getting out of prison, hugging him deeply.

Then faces appeared of people long lost. His mother tugging him into bed. Eddie and he training together. Ronnie trying to fix that time machine, joking around.

And finally there was her. Always there from the beginning.

Her telling him what she lost during the explosion. Her smiling excitedly while trying to make him drunk with some potion she made. Her believing in him. Them singing together. Him staying at her bedside. All the hugs they shared before. The few kisses, few glimpses he got of the future that could be.

He pushed his body to the limit. He groaned and yelled and finally he broke through the barrier of slow motion Zoom created.

It all happened fast. Seconds. Maybe even milliseconds. But to him it felt like minutes. Hours even.

Zoom appeared in front of his friends, ready to pick one and start his sick game, but he never got to it.

Barry grabbed him from behind. All fear, all scruples gone. So be it then. He made the same mistake twice, he wasn't going to make it a third time. If that turned him into something he always feared, then he had to live with that.

His arm wrapped around his neck. He could feel the pressure, hear the heartbeat.

His mouth was close to Zoom's ear. "Too slow, _Hunter._ " He whispered, with a voice so dark it barely resembled his own anymore.

Then he did it.

 _Snap._

He could hear the sound of bones breaking. Feel the blood rush. Hear how the heartbeat got slower and slower and finally stopped.

Zoom's lifeless body fell to the ground, Barry could only stare down on it.

* * *

For them it happened too fast to immediately understand what was even going on. Barry fell to the ground and Caitlin screamed his name.

Zoom picked him up only to smash him down again. It was impossible to watch.

Then blue thunder moved towards them and everything went to hell.

Joe pointed his gun towards Zoom. Iris pulled Wally closer to her body, Harry stepped in front of Caitlin and Cisco in a desperate attempt to shield them both. And then, nothing happened.

The lightning was gone. Barry stood in front of them. Zoom was lying on the ground, his neck twisted.

"Oh my God." Iris was the first one to get her voice back, she pulled at Wally's arm as if she wanted him to look away from the scene.

Joe lowered his gun, his eyes moving between Barry and Zoom. He saved them. He overcame the monster and won. But to what cost?

Harry put his hand on Cisco's shoulder. "It's over."

Caitlin walked slowly over to Barry who couldn't look away from Zoom. His eyes were still open, but empty. He stared right back him.

She wrapped her arms around him, pulling his head onto her shoulder. "It's okay." She whispered softly. "It's okay."

* * *

Harry never told them what he did with the body. He just said _it's taken care off._ Caitlin was kinda glad he did. She only wanted to forget.

"That's it for me." Killer Frost said when they reached the stairs to the basement. They found a way to stabilize the breach as a door. They could open and close it as they wanted to, even if a risk that someone from Earth-2 or even another universe could come through it now as well.

It was a pull and push, but Cisco didn't want to close it permanently just yet. First they still needed to find Jesse and give her a chance to decide what she wanted and second, there was just way too much to be explored yet.

"I will actually miss you." Caitlin told her doppelganger.

"Don't go all mushy on me, sunshine."

Caitlin still pulled her into a hug. "What will you do now?"

Killer Frost shrugged. "Ronnie is gone. So is the Zoom. For the first time I have no idea."

Caitlin made a sympathetic face. "Maybe that's not so bad."

Killer Frost smiled. A warm, genuine smile this time. "Goodbye, Caitlin."

"Goodbye. Caitlin."

* * *

Team Flash was back doing their regular business. Fighting metahumans and other bad guys and a whole lot of science.

Running was the only thing that kept Barry sane by day. Caitlin's arms did it at night, when the nightmares taunted him.

Most of the time he dreamed that his hands were wrapped around Zoom's neck once again, his dark voice talking to him, the _snap,_ the sound of his fading heartbeat and his cold dead eyes staring at him.

Sometimes the dreams would take him further. He looked at himself, surrounded by blue lightning, wearing yellow instead of red, smiling emotionless. He would reach out his hand, vibrating and aim for the kill.

Then he would wake up screaming. She would be there, hugging him tightly, whispering words of love and hope and a promise for a better future into his ear.

"I didn't want to kill him at first because I feared I would turn into him. If I give into the darkness." He told her one night.

"Into Zoom?" she asked, putting a soft kiss on his bare shoulder.

"No… _him._ " He didn't need to speak Thawne's name out loud, he was sure Caitlin understood. There was a bond between him and the man who claimed to be his exact opposite. A tragic connection that not even time and space could erase.

"You're nothing like him."

"When I did it, when I killed Hunter, I felt nothing. No regret, no sorrow, just nothing." He looked at her face, there was only a dim light from the moon outside in the room. "I can still feel it inside of me. This coldness. This darkness. What if I ever –"

She pressed her lips against his. "You are you, Barry. You are nothing like him and you will never be. You are stronger. And if you ever forget that, I'm right here to remind you."

But she wasn't without her demons either. The sound of thunder made her nervous. She was never scared of it before, even enjoyed it a bit, but now it scared her. So when a storm hit Central City, he would build them a fortress of pillows and hide with her until it was over.

She also couldn't go down to the basement anymore. Even when the breach was closed, even with Zoom dead, that irrational fear he would reach out with his demonic claws and take her away never left her. Some days the panic would get the better of her and she couldn't even come to work. On those days the doorbell would suddenly ring and flowers appear on her doorstep. Or she would get food from her favorite restaurant even if she didn't order any. And at night, when all work was done, he would cuddle with her on the sofa and tell her that it was fine. That whatever she needed he would be there.

"You are safe with me." He promised her. "We will get through this. Together, somehow we will get through this."

"How?" She cried against him. "Sometimes I'm afraid of my own shadow."

He stroked the back of her head. "We have each other." He said sincerely. It was all that mattered, they would figure out the rest along the way.

He officially moved in a month after Zoom's death. It was ridiculously fast, but neither of them cared. They couldn't sleep without each other's comfort and he couldn't stay in that house with Joe.

Things with Iris turned back to normal quickly. She was kind and understanding and supported him in the decision he made. They were best friends, she would always have his back.

But Joe was another topic. There was barrier now and he didn't know how to climb it. While Joe understood why Barry did what he did, he couldn't help but see him through different eyes. Maybe he did hold him on a moral pedestal before and never noticed, but the image of his hand going through Zoom's stomach and later the lifeless corpse with the broken neck haunted him. He wanted Barry to be the Flash, the hero, but he never wanted this for him. Killing Zoom killed a part of himself and he missed the Barry he lost.

It was Wally in the end who made the difference. After finally understanding Barry and what he had been through, their relationship finally improved. While being shocked at what he witnessed, Wally was incredible mature about the situation and surprised Barry with a depth he never expected.

So one afternoon when he and Joe met up for a late lunch, he spoke his mind. "I would have done the same. You would have done the same. You probably did something like it before. You are a cop. So stop treating him like he committed a crime."

Joe stared at the plate in front of him. "I just miss my Barry. The positive, happy kid I raised. He doesn't deserve this pain. This darkness."

"Open your eyes, dad." He didn't call him just _Joe_ this time. "He is still your Barry. Everyone carries darkness around, but he is strong. He will get through it. But he needs you."

Four months after Zoom died family night now included Caitlin, who was the worst stack attack player the world had ever seen.

"Geez woman, if you want to marry into this family we need to teach you some moves." Wally teased her. Caitlin blushed and Iris lightly punched her brother's shoulder.

Barry laughed and Joe handed him a beer. "I missed this sound." He said to him.

"Yeah." Barry said. "Me too."

Cisco decided to concentrate on his powers, he wanted to know how his evil doppelganger with the bad hair choices managed to control them like that. In the corner of his mind, he always carried the vision he had when he touched Caitlin on that faithful day.

Five months after Zoom died Jesse finally decided to came home and the Wells family had to make a decision.

While Barry came up with a whole presentation why the Wells' should stay with them, Cisco was relaxed. He decided to believe in the vibe he got, after all he was never wrong and knew that one day Harry would be by Caitlin's side for a very important walk.

Of course he was right.

Barry and Caitlin accompanied Harry on his search for an apartment while Jesse decided to enroll into Earth-1's Central City University.

Harry was happy, until Wally took it upon himself to show her around.

Six months after Zoom died Caitlin found Barry on the exact spot the body fell down. The sun was setting in the background, bathing the whole city in an orange-red light. A soft breeze blowing. She wore a light blue summer dress and the wind played with her curls.

"There you are." She said.

He smiled at her, taking her hand.

"What's on your mind?"

He raised his shoulders. "Everything. Nothing. Maybe you?" He grinned. "A whole lot of you actually." He leaned in to kiss her softly. "Can't we skip dinner and head home?" He wrapped his arms around her waist. "We could go straight up to dessert." He placed soft kisses down her neck.

She giggled. "Barry Allen will you stop that!" She protested with a laugh and hit him with papers she was carrying. "It's Jesse's big day and Birthday Girl comes first."

He groaned. "Fine. What's this?"

Instead of answering the question, she squeezed his hand. "You come here often to think."

"Yeah. Weird, isn't it?"

She shook her head. "No. Not weird at all."

"I think I finally found balance again. I don't regret what happened here. The moment I did it, a part of me even enjoyed it." He confessed. "I overpowered him. I stopped him. I won. And for so long I couldn't live with myself, with what I did, what I felt. It was like something inside of me was gone. But I don't feel like this anymore." He tugged some hair behind her ears. "I accept the darkness, but I choose the light. I feel finally complete again. _You_ make me feel complete."

"I love you." She said. "All of you, always."

He ended up being right, they made it through. There were still nights when he screamed and days when she hid from the world, but in the end, that wasn't what mattered. What mattered were moments like this. Or family dinners. Fighting for the city with the rest of the team. Joking around. Having fun. Stolen kisses. Passionate nights.

He put a gentle kiss on her lips. "I love you, too."

She handed him the papers and a lighter. "That's everything we still have on V9 and the Reverse Velocity. Cisco wiped our systems clean and only notes remain. Time to get rid of it. To start completely over."

And so they burned it. They watched the flames destroy the last piece of Zoom left. They would never forget, but they would finally be free of these chains.

"Guys, can I come out or are you having sexy times?" Cisco shouted from the door. "Because I never ever want to see that again."

"How many times do we have to apologize for that one time?" Barry laughed as Cisco joined them.

Cisco shook his head and shuddered. "Disgusting."

Caitlin started to laugh as well. "We love you Cisco."

"Don't make fun of me!" He pointed his index finger, waving between them. "And now come on, Harry made reservations and is moody because of that new dress Jesse bought to impress Wally. Harry is like a helicopter mom…dad whatever, did you notice that? He is…."

Cisco talked on and on walking back into the lab. Barry played with Caitlin's fingers.

"What?" She asked when she noticed him staring.

"I just think we are quite the pair, Dr. Snow."

"Yes we are, Mr. Allen."

They walked on together, hand in hand.


End file.
